Thursday, October 22, 2009

Why I REALLY want to be President of the NCNCA

Everybody knows that The President gets to do some really cool things. And gets some neet new toys. The perks are endless (or so I've been told). So here are the reasons I REALLY wnat to be President of the NCNCA.

1) someone recently said that I've got big shoes to fill and that I get to wear size 99 shoes. since your feet are the lever on the bike, the bigger the better, right? I'm just a little worried about toe-overlap.

2) The President always gets mysterious-looking (yet handsome) body guards. what girl wouldn't want to surround herself with mysterious + handsome men?

3) The President is a diplomat and gets to travel to exotic and distant lands. I see trips to Copperopolis, Weed, Snelling, Bakersfield, Challenge, and maybe even Henleyville in my future! who needs to be a world traveller when the best of the best is right here in rural CA thanks to Velo Promo?

4) The President (or is it the First Lady) always redecorates the White House. I think this means I'll have to finish re-painting my condo before taking office in January!

5) everybody makes fun of The President. I foresee a media whirlwind of cartoons, p-shopped photos, and essays poking fun at my dog, my bikes, and my hairstyle. kinda like high school but on a global level. maybe I'll even get an invitation to host SNL!

6) people give The President free stuff! I can't wait to get a chicken from the cluckers' council, a happy cow from the moo brigade, and an avocado tree from the pit plants coalition.

7) everybody celebrates The President's birthday! I love birthdays and next year will be a special one for me, so mark July 29th on your calendar as a presidential day of wanton recklessness.

8) The President gets chauffeured around in a big shiny black car. I already have a 10-year old black (not-so-shiny) Subaru with dings + scratches from bikes leaning on it, so all I need now is a driver. some might agree that the way I drive, that would be a good thing.

9) The President gets to wear a big sparkly crown for formal occasions (oh yeah, maybe that's the king). I have a closet full of tiaras just waiting for the right opportunity to be worn! don't be surprised if you see me wearing one at the NCNCA meeting, the NorCal Cyclefest, or the SFBC Winter Party.

10) legions of heralding trumpets and firing muskets greet The President wherever he goes. after years as the drum major of my high school marching band, I can't wait to stand in front of the celebratory ranks again!

in all seriousness, I look forward to the challenge of serving the NCNCA as The President in 2010. you can read my candidate's statement, as well as those of the other candidates, here:

No comments: